Friday, January 31, 2014

January Lessons

On this last day of January—a January, which (and I think I can speak for all Midwesterners), has been one I would never like to replicate—I'm going to take a moment to reflect on a few of the valuable lessons I learned in the last 31 days.

  1. I should never say anything like, "This must be the coldest weather we are going to have this year, and the year just started!" I shouldn't say that if there is arctic/polar/"skin-freezes-even-thinking-about-going-outside" air freakishly descending, I shouldn't say that it if schools are shut down in response to that cold, I shouldn't even say that on a dare. It can be colder, and the cold can last longer—I just need to wait three weeks.
  2. It would be a lot easier to feel good about saving money if, every time I walked into the dentist, it didn't immediately cost me $1,000, and that's with decent dental insurance. I'm having a root canal later today, and I've already spent $980 ordering the crown/getting the first step done, I shutter to think what else my bill to add up to at the endodontist's office. Oh, and now that I'm chewing on the other side, the molar over there hurts, too, almost more than the existing broken tooth. Did I mention that I still have one expansive silver filling that needs to be removed soon, too? Yeah, by March I will have paid for roundtrip tickets to Europe twice and back, but those trips will all be in my mouth.
  3. The car will only start acting truly funny when my spouse is out of town. This is also when I will start catching a cold, six more inches of snow will arrive, and (remember lesson #2), I will get a root canal.
I've read a lot of posts on social media lately about embracing every moment of life, cherishing all of it, recognizing that someday, you will look back on this precious time and think, "Those were the good days."

January 2014, I hate to break it to you, but I will never remember you as "the good days." There were some good moments, sure, but please know that you when you are remembered in years to come, it will be with a heavy sigh, and God-willing, it will be with me living somewhere where palm trees thrive.

Listen, February, I don't know if you will be any better, and I am not in the business of making predictions. What I know for sure, though, is that you will be shorter, and your days will be increasingly longer, and that is going to have to be enough for me.

If you are feeling generous, though, could you stop having school pick-ups that look like this?


  1. Ugh. Polar vortex may get all the media attention, but freezing rain is absolutely the worst possible weather to be out in, isn't it?